A Foodie’s Ponderings: By GD Maxwell

November 2, 2016

Beloved local writer, GD Maxwell, deconstructs breakfast for his fellow foodies.


Nutritionists, who have proven time and time again how little science actually knows about nutrition and how the human body processes foods, have claimed for, well, ever, that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I’m here to tell you it’s simply not true.

This, of course, is good news to those of us for whom the thought of digging into a hearty meal shortly after bouncing out of bed is nauseating.

So what, you ask, is my proof for such a statement? Statistics — which we all know don’t lie — bear me out. In recent surveys, a full 10% of Americans never eat breakfast and an astounding 50% skip it at least once a week. Half of Brits say they regularly skip breakfast, a figure that’s doubled in the past several years. If breakfast was as important as nutritionists want you to believe, there would be bodies piling up in the streets.

Let’s face it, nobody except naughty children skip supper, and it’s not like naughty children have a choice in the matter. Lunch is a necessary break in the day’s grind.

If stark statistics aren’t enough for you, consider this: Breakfast is the only meal humans consume in restaurants that doesn’t have a dessert offering! There is no breakfast dessert menu! Never! Nowhere!

Breakfast is the neglected stepchild of meals.

Oh, I know, there are lots of sweet things people can choose to eat at breakfast. Belgian waffles piled high with strawberries and whipped cream, gooey cinnamon buns, pastries of many varieties and — ugh — hideously sweet cereal adults never confess to eating notwithstanding far more is sold than children could possibly eat.

But those things are breakfast. They’re not dessert. Why is there no breakfast dessert? A separate menu with a few tempting choices to finish off your morning meal and satisfy our ancestral evolutionary predilection for sweet, calorie-rich things would put a bounce in breakfast eaters’ step, make them feel special and, perhaps most importantly, add 10-15% to restaurateurs’ bottom line.

Hello people; opportunity knocking.

Why is there no Breakfast Brûlée?  Breakfast Brownie? Why are eggs a staple breakfast choice but a decent dessert soufflé never hits a menu until lunch? Why is pie a PM thing but never sees the light of dawn?

What’s the matter with breakfast that it’s too ashamed to be associated with dessert?

A skier contemplating a day filled with harrowing steeps, uphill hikes in search of fresh powder and the occasional, interminable lift line, would cheer local restaurants serving up a power-packed breakfast dessert of, say, energy bar topped with a truffle mountain draped in white chocolate ganache glacier and coconut snowfall? Everything you need and nothing you don’t for a hard day on the mountain, all for $7.95.

Don’t thank me — just get to work and make breakfast as important as nutritionists try to make us think it is.

You can find Max’s musings in his weekly column in the Pique Newsmagazine, www.piquenewsmagazine.com